Posted by Elena del Valle on February 5, 2015
April Davis, founder, Cupid’s Cronies
Photo: Cupid’s Cronies
Being a successful businessperson and being a successful dater may seem completely unrelated. However, many of the skills and techniques used in dating can be applied to a business context. As a dating coach, I provide our clients with various tips on building a relationship, conversing, and making connections, just a few of the tips that can overlap with the business world. Here are five examples.
Conversation and communication skills
We’ve all been in meetings when afterwards you talk later and it’s clear you heard different messages. Similarly, two people can go on a date and when they follow up with me, I hear two distinctly different versions of the event.
In order to have a good meeting or a good date, one needs to have great communication skills. If they’re awkward in their delivery or lack decent grammar, they’re going to be quickly written off and disregarded. No second date and no progress in the task at hand.
Presentation – Dress for Success
Almost everyone has heard this saying, but based on what I see when I look around the busy streets filled with corporate professionals over the noon hour, not everyone lives this. First impressions are key to a first date and physical appearance is extremely important when it comes to the initial attraction. We can’t change the cards we’re dealt when it comes to our features, but you can control things such as clothing, grooming, and how you carry yourself.
Being able to follow through and bring a project to completion is a key competency a good employee should have. Similarly, we coach singles the importance of following up after the first date and for the men, continuing to pursue the lady thereafter. One needs to be proactive and go after what he or she wants in both business and in personal matters.
Confident people most often are seen in positions of leadership and authority, but it is not necessarily the confidence that got them there in the first place. Part of the reason leaders are secure may be actually a result of their position. Although, it can be a very useful trait to possess when trying to be successful in corporate America.
Similarly, confident people tend to get more dates than those who are insecure and perceived to be weak. Confidence is an important mindset that we coach clients on creating and their workplace is just one of the many areas they can derive confidence from. There are several other layers and techniques people can use to build up their self-esteem.
Relationships and connections
In order to be successful in business, you need other people. Networking and the good relationships you make will not only help you to get things done, but also open the door to other opportunities you may not have had access to previously. How you go about making those connections and building those relationships require many of the same skills as in dating.
Like attracts like and people enjoy working with people they like. If someone is very different from you, it’s unlikely you’ll really connect. Think about someone from South Georgia on a phone call with a New Yorker. Even if they want the same thing, they’re going to drive each other crazy because one talks much slower than the other. If the New Yorker wants to build a connection with the Georgian, than they need to slow it down. Not fake the accent, just slow it down. Look for a place of common ground to build rapport. This can be done by finding something that they have in common so that the Georgian will start to feel comfortable with them. The same logic extends to two people on a date just getting to know each other building a connection. Whether you know it or not, one person has to make an effort to build that chemistry/connection and build rapport.
Some basic rules of success can be applied to many facets of life. Presenting yourself well, honing your communication skills, gaining confidence, and learning to follow through will help you not only in business, but also in your everyday life. Positively influence your life and challenge yourself to become an expert in these five simple areas.
Cupid’s Cronies founder, April Davis, has a diverse background ranging from racing snowmobiles professionally, fashion modeling, and working in Finance & Six Sigma for Fortune 500 companies. She can be reached at April@cupidscronies.com